Mrs Dalloway #2

(I am wondering if I were in college if I would blog such notes. On the other hand I feel like this exercise is a learning process on how to write again. It is similar to the first semester of graduate school for the MFA too, writing about the texts and understanding theory. Oh and for here this blog, it gives more information about Mrs Dalloway without reading the book haha and maybe it's more interesting to see the background noise of writing than reading the finished paper. it is a blog after all and i love low fi. )

" Septimus remembers seeing Miss Pole "walking in a green dress" (p85) Mrs D is also fixing a green dress last time we saw her. I wonder if that's important showing another link between the 2. & Reiza & Mrs D both say the hat matters most. Poor Septimus is struggling to find a reason why he can't feel, wanting to feel but just cannot. the miserable "war had taught him" & now I think he's stone cold the happiness in the world but at the same time he sees things other don't -- he knows "loathing, hatred, despair" from the war. from readin & his own reasoning. Some passages seem like characters thoughts but they don't say he/she thought etc. so i am unsure if they belong to a character & they are separate paragraphs so are they Woolf's thoughts on the subject. For ex. p.89 "one cannot bring children into a world like this.. perpetuate suffering... no lasting emotions, but only whims & vanities..." it doesn't say "Septimus thought" but can I assume it's him b/c it does seem to fit with him & would make sense he should not want kids when he sees the world as miserable place & horrors of war & w/ no feeling. & people as unkind only for the "pleasure of the moment" "the happiest man in the world & the most miserable" I believe is a perfect summary of Septimus. at one more moment he sees all the beauty in the world, the trees, nature, happiness but yet he cannot feel it & knows the flaw in humanity, rather their limits & mortality. But by not feeling, Septimus maintained his sanity in the war but the same not feeling deterioriates him now. He knows & can't feel. "they desert the fallen" Now they've given up on him, he's alone (p92) Holmes is a moron. I don't understand proportion = Sir Williams. he "secluded her lunatics" England's that is thereby deserting Septimus . same image. but who is conversion - Reiza & Lady Bradshaw who both have given up their individuality to their husband, to help & maintain his existence? & how can they put Septimus in a home to deteriorate more but they say to get him fat & healthy"


now i really want to reread Mrs Dalloway. I tried a while ago after I started the blog and thought it was a downer, contrary to my memory which thought it was about planning & having a party. maybe these notes will help or rather confirm that feeling more specifically. it feels timely with the devastating news from norway paralleled with the dead rockstar. maybe studying mrs dalloway helps.