hash rank miami reflections and a new years resolution

Let me frame this framing of the #rank story for me by telling you I can be deeply paranoid, especially when tired, stretched to capacity or perhaps hungover and ugly words vomit from my mouth much to my dismay. On the other hand, I am ready to believe you, your good stated intentions, and perhaps as one teacher described me, I really am brilliantly naive and innocently cynical. I am passionate about art, art making, and showing work and community building.. That said, let the reflection of #rank unfold...


The framing of the space with open ended periphery projects like Destineez Child, Guidance Counselor and Identifier Corporation made it easy for the viewer / spectator / passerbyer to engage with the project regardless of what was happening in the center, meaning at the 12 foot table with the chairs around it. For instance when I arrived at the space, some art game or $100 gambling thing was happening (I did interrupt and ask a person at the table what was happening and it was definitely too late to enter AND I wasn't willing to put down $100 at risk – (see my video for more comments coming soon). So off I went and chatted with Destineez Child and viewed their wares, which regretfully I did not invest in souveniring either. We did swap some ideas, and I probably should follow up with them sooner rather than later, because it was about psychoanalysis projects and who wants to miss an opportunity to do something on that. (see video again…) So that was a brilliant kick off to entering and engaging in the space within the first 10 minutes of arrival. (photo)

And much faster than that I was introduced to Mandies which would become the ultimate respite from any uncomfortable moments. Retreat to the bar when all else fails at #rank just like in life. Healthy or not it worked for awhile anyway. Plus it kept me in the game of participation which I appreciated and the regulars – Andrew and his team were particularly welcoming. And really, a drink a day is healthy, and really really, relaxing makes you feel better and therefore more confident and ready to constructively participate rather than falling into the ethers of that yucky, needy paranoid girl that no one wants to be friends with (who I introduced at the beginning of this rant reflection). Fortunately there was help for that girl too with Guidance Counselors Sarada and Boris on Saturday. Lisa Levy's project was diagnostic psychoanalysis as well and perhaps would have been better had it been treated as periphery. Instead it was like entering a high end doctor's office who treats as many patients as possible to earn the most money. But hey it was free consultation and accurate, I scored a 2 for self esteem out of ten, and the advice on my card was to be nice to me.

One of the more provocative projects was Festive Anthropophagy Through Reflected Imagery. Anthropophagy means eating human flesh. A woman of color with minimal cloths initially covering her hip area was gradually covered in mirrors as part of the performance. Pamphlets including a mirrored surface were distributed and offered insights to Brazilian native cultural practice of eating those from a different social rank to gain their traits, and included parallel advice for the art fair goer on scrying.

Let us not forget Lobster Girl. Now the perception I went into #rank miami from emails from Jen and Bill was that it could be this cheesy, hippie dippie, messy chaos of a love in (which ironically appeased my initial doubts about #rank Miami). Upon exiting Mandies, who do I see trotting about and talking about hugs, but Lobster Girl. I cringed. Oh man if ever there was a burning man moment this was it, fake tit inserts exposed and all, or so I had thought at the time, little did I know it was specially choreographed to make people cringe. Despite the misleading title hugs (fucking cheesy right?) that was the aim, to make you feel the cheese. Had this been on the dessert of the playa of Black Rock City, no one would have been uncomfortable and the hugging that might lead to humping at the lobster's invite would have been warmly welcomed.

But we weren't at Burning Man and lobsters aren't really huggable. The claws looked soft but were made of boxing gloves. I remember thinking when reading the description is a hug really going to make the consternation with the art market and art fair experience all better? what is going on here? Ultimately I think Lobster Girl serves as metaphor of #rank’s relationship to the art fair, challenging and uncomfortable.

My initial concerns about participating in #rank Miami included that it might be committing art career suicide. My nagging doubts and worries that it was too much participation in the commercial art world and I was being used for my criticality to make more sales, to be more commercial, hyper commercial if you will. but then people i knew and respected encouraged the participation so i went along. It was my dear professor’s choice of not participating in my project that also contributed to my second guessing it, but he kindly wished me well so perhaps it's ok.

The blog writer from hyperallergic who i met last year at CAA said be polished. He said put your name on things, own it. Rebecca Goyette also said OWN IT. I think those are some words to live by. I think i should refrain from publishing anything until I own it. If I own it then publish it, that's a good way to go.( <--- new year's resolution ) i like to take risks and say how i feel. i am consumed with thinking about this art world and how I fit in. Rebecca said focus. all art. don't take on too much. Michelle Grabner from the Opt Out of Obscurity panel at CAA earlier this year on the other hand said take up any art opportunity that comes your way. Michelle takes on everything and is a faculty member at an art college and an artist. I think like Austin of Bushwick would be the same too. If it weren't for participating in #rank i would never have met so many people outside my current art network circles of philly and VCFA. so in that way, participation went well. While I love CAA for the reunions with friends, its formality makes meeting new friends more challenging. At #rank I connected with people. and it felt good.





#rank got me to miami. a place i'd been thinking would be good to check out. and i got a new t-shirt… with my name on it. i can't believe marta wants one of those t-shirts now. man. i should have made extras haha

My project Building Backbones and many of the other projects were healling.


To close out the year, I’m nearly finished reading a book recommended by Denise Karabinus at a crit at Kat Schneck’s apartment, 7 Days in the Art World to ground everything I experienced at ABMB, satellite fairs, CAA conference, Art in the Open, Vox VI, rejection letters, Philadelphia Underground and 2010.


Good night 2010.

Road to Confidence

Grant application advice

So for some reason I am dwelling on the words of the dude from an individual art grant funding agency at #rank who said the best applications do not sound like Artforum.

I recently started reading Artforum, well back issues of it anyway in October, and was surprised by how good the articles actually were and who was in them and what was being talked about. Not just pictures of images of artists' works, but interviews and stories. And the language used was familiar. So I finally felt like I found a good publication that wasn't just sound bites of this show or that show to see (which are helpful) but real analysis and insights, so to hear this dude say such a thing blew my mind.

All that work in grad school to learn the language to speak about your work (immersive environments for play, community building, centering point for social relations vs party activism outside the everyday party ) in art speak and theory and cultural production seemed worthless when he said that. And that maybe I shouldn't keep on reading Artforum. I just know now that for this particular grant they have different writing expectations and it's good to be informed.

Speaking of what you learned in art school, that question is raised in 7 Days in the Art World which I'm half way through and aim to finish by Thursday in preparation for the #rank debrief.

Manifesto Monday

For Mombert, "an artist's interpretation of Identifier Corporation"

Hey ya, below is a reflection I wrote about Identifier Corporation upon Pumkin Folger's request. ID Corp was at #rank miami. Check out the website, get a new ID and post it / or like the FB Page too



"At first glance, Identifier Corporation seemed like a one line joke about artist names and identity to get attention. Upon deeper reflection and talking with Pumkin Folgers, I learned that that is far from the truth. The psychological concept is rich with potential for undoing and letting go of hang ups and old IDs by escaping into a new persona that you can define with this new name. In a time when the internet and anonymity and speaking your mind can be complicated, this project invites the artist to have a go at it without compromising their old self either. As US politics seems to be dominated by right wing conservatism and censorship, the potential this project offers if taken past its pilot at #rank into a working corporation could be powerful. Plans include developing a team of consultants to assist the user in creating this radical new identity to make the new self more real and true.

On a practical level the idea resonates as well. For instance a former professor has the same name as lesser established artist who quite possibly leveraged the professor's name to advance his career. What if the MFA professor used this service? What becomes of the work he's done to create a name from his existing name? In the history of art we have many artists who had aliases, dating back to Duchamp at least. With Identifier Corporation, the professor would avoid such frustrating identity theft."

I have more to say about my experience at #rank and will post it soon. Honest.

Gala as Art Slideshow by Greg Allen and My Unedited 2 Cents of Notes

Gala as Art Slideshow By Greg Allen

my notes:

greg's likeable quotes "when harry met sally moment…
gala in jeans, a grubby gala (re lou reed)"

wish i was friends with andrea fraser

if you commission the gala as a happening it loses the integrity as a happening and negates itself as the thing it strives to be. mission fail. a gala is never a happening. a party is never a happening. you cannot hijack something and make it a happening. a happening is a thing of itself, like the filmic. it can never be hijacked.

ugh and then immersive. and being insidethe work. that's my aspiration. but in terms of a gala it makes me want to vomit. i see how this session really made bill angry and i'm not even up to hearing the part about eli broad which is what set him off. but why should it make me angry that the rich have a version of the DIY aesthetic that i love. BECAUSE they are not thinking about materials and waste and impact on environment and all people.

some words about culture, for who, content and cost, were here but they are deleted. i will say i am quickly becoming a fan of Jennifer Rubell, especially after watching and listening to this slide show.

memorable words
competing galas to titillate and entertain to raise money. gala's raise money. gala as art has not worked yet.
art as entertainment?

Manifesto Monday

Andre Breton
First Surrealist Manifesto
copied from http://www.tcf.ua.edu/Classes/Jbutler/T340/F98/SurrealistManifesto.htm
read it aloud for fun

First Surrealist Manifesto

From Le Manifeste du Surréalisme, 1924

ANDRÉ BRETON

We are still living under the reign of logic, but the logical processes of our time apply only to the solution of problems of secondary interest. The absolute rationalism which remains in fashion allows for the consideration of only those facts narrowly relevant to our experience. Logical conclusions, on the other hand, escape us. Needless to say, boundaries have been assigned even to ex- perience. It revolves in a cage from which release is becoming increasingly difficult. It too depends upon immediate utility and is guarded by common sense. In the guise of civilization, under the pretext of progress, we have suc- ceeded in dismissing from our minds anything that, rightly or wrongly, could be regarded as superstition or myth; and we have proscribed every way of seeking the truth which does not conform to convention. It would appear that it is by sheer chance that an aspect of intellectual life - and by far the most important in my opinion — about which no one was supposed to be concerned any longer has, recently, been brought back to light. Credit for this must go to Freud. On the evidence of his discoveries a current of opinion is at last developing which will enable the explorer of the human mind to extend his investigations, since he will be empowered to deal with more than merely summary realities. Perhaps the imagination is on the verge of recovering its rights. If the depths of our minds conceal strange forces capable of augmenting or conquering those on the surface, it is in our greatest interest to capture them; first to capture them and later to submit them, should the occasion arise, to the control of reason. The analysts themselves can only gain by this. But it is im- portant to note that there is no method fixed a priori for the execution of this enterprise, that until the new order it can be considered the province of poets as well as scholars, and that its success does not depend upon the more or less capricious routes which will be followed.

It was only fitting that Freud should appear with his critique on the dream. In fact, it is incredible that this important part of psychic activity has still attracted so little attention. (For, at least from man's birth to his death, thought presents no solution of continuity; the sum of dreaming moments - even taking into consideration pure dream alone, that of sleep - is from the point of view of time no less than the sum of moments of reality, which we shall confine to waking moments.) I have always been astounded by the extreme disproportion in the importance and seriousness assigned to events of the waking moments and to those of sleep by the ordinary observer. Man, when he ceases to sleep, is above all at the mercy of his memory, and the memory normally delights in feebly retracing the circumstance of the dream for him, depriving it of all actual consequence and obliterating the only determinant from the point at which he thinks he abandoned this constant hope, this anxiety, a few hours earlier. He has the illusion of continuing something worthwhile. The dream finds itself relegated to a parenthesis, like the night. And in general it gives no more counsel than the night. This singular state of affairs seems to invite a few reflections:

1. Within the limits to which its performance is restricted (or what passes for performance), the dream, according to all outward appearances, is continuous and bears traces of organization. Only memory claims the right to edit it, to suppress transitions and present us with a series of dreams rather than the dream. Similarly, at no given instant do we have more than a distinct representation of realities whose co-ordination is a matter of will.(1) It is important to note that nothing leads to a greater dissipation of the constituent elements of the dream. I regret discussing this according to a formula which in principle ex- cludes the dream. For how long, sleeping logicians, philosophers? I would like to sleep in order to enable myself to surrender to sleepers, as I surrender to those who read me with their eyes open, in order to stop the conscious rhythm of my thought from prevailing over this material. Perhaps my dream of last night was a continuation of the preceding night's, and will be continued tonight with an admirable precision. It could be, as they say. And as it is in no way proven that, in such a case, the 'reality' with which I am concerned even exists in the dream state, or that it does not sink into the immemorial, then why should I not concede to the dream what I sometimes refuse to reality - that weight of self-assurance which by its own terms is not exposed to my denial? Why should I not expect more of the dream sign than I do of a daily increasing degree of consciousness? Could not the dreams as well be applied to the solution of life's fundamental problems? Are these problems the same in one case as in the other, and do they already exist in the dream? Is the dream less oppressed by sanctions than the rest? I am growing old and, perhaps more than this reality to which I believe myself confined, it is the dream, and the detachment that I owe to it, which is ageing me.

2 I return to the waking state. I am obliged to retain it as a phenomenon of interference. Not only does the mind show a strange tendency to disorientation under these conditions (this is the clue to slips of the tongue and lapses of all kinds whose secret is just beginning to be surrendered to us), but when function- ing normally the mind still seems to obey none other than those suggestions which rise from that deep night I am commending. Sound as it may be, its equilibrium is relative. The mind hardly dares express itself and, when it does, is limited to stating that this idea or that woman has an effect on it. What effect it cannot say; thus it gives the measure of its subjectivism and nothing more. The idea, the woman, disturbs it, disposes it to less severity. Their role is to isolate one second of its discappearance and remove it to the sky in that glorious acceleration that it can be, that it is. Then, as a last resort, the mind invokes chance - a more obscure divinity than the others - to whom it attributes all its aberrations. Who says that the angle from which that idea is presented which affects the mind, as well as what the mind loves in that woman's eye, is not precisely the same thing that attracts the mind to its dream and reunites it with data lost through its own error? And if things were otherwise, of what might the mind not be capable? I should like to present it with the key to that passage.

3 The mind of the dreaming man is fully satisfied with whatever happens to it. The agonizing question of possibility does not arise. Kill, plunder more quickly, love as much as you wish. And if you die, are you not sure of being roused from the dead? Let yourself be led. Events will not tolerate deferment. You have no name. Everything Is inestimably easy.

What power, I wonder, what power so much more generous than others confers this natural aspect upon the dream and makes me welcome unreservedly a throng of episodes whose strangeness would overwhelm me if they were hap- pening as I write this? And yet I can believe it with my own eyes, my own ears. That great day has come, that beast has spoken.

If man's awakening is harsher, if he breaks the spell too well, it is because he has been led to form a poor idea of expiation.

4 When the time comes when we can submit the dream to a methodical examination, when by methods yet to be determined we succeed in realizing the dream in its entirety (and that implies a memory discipline measurable in generations, but we can still begin by recording salient facts), when the dream's curve is developed with an unequalled breadth and regularity, then we can hope that mysteries which are not really mysteries will give way to the great Mystery. I believe in the future resolution of these two states -- outwardly so contradic- tory -- which are dream and reality, into a sort of absolute reality, a surreality, so to speak, I am aiming for its conquest, certain that I myself shall not attain it, but too indifferent to my death not to calculate the joys of such possession.

They say that not long ago, just before he went to sleep, Saint-Pol-Roux placed a placard on the door of his manor at Camaret which read: THE POET WORKS.

There is still a great deal to say, but I did want to touch lightly, in passing, upon a subject which in itself would require a very long exposition with a dif- ferent precision. I shall return to it. For the time being my intention has been to see that justice was done to that hatred of the marvellous which rages in certain men, that ridicule under which they would like to crush it. Let us resolve, therefore: the Marvellous is always beautiful, everything marvellous is beautiful. Nothing but the Marvellous is beautiful.




... One night, before falling asleep, I became aware of a most bizarre sentence, clearly articulated to the point where it was impossible to change a word of it, but still separate from the sound of any voice. It came to me bearing no trace of the events with which I was involved at that time, at least to my conscious knowledge. It seemed to me a highly insistent sentence - a sentence, I might say, which knocked at the window. I quickly took note of it and was prepared to disregard it when something about its whole character held me back. The sentence truly astounded me. Unfortunately I still cannot remember the exact words to this day, but it was something like: 'A man is cut in half by the window'; but it can only suffer from ambiguity, accompanied as it was by the feeble visual representation of a walking man cut in half by a window perpendicular to the axis of his body. ^ It was probably a simple mat- ter of a man leaning on the window and then straightening up. But the window followed the movements of the man, and I realized that I was dealing with a very rare type of image. Immediately I had the idea of incorporating it into my poetic material, but no sooner had I invested it with poetic form than it went on to give way to a scarcely intermittent succession of sentences which surprised me no less than the first and gave me the impression of such a free gift that the control which I had had over myself up to that point seemed illusory and I no longer thought of anything but how to put an end to the interminable quarrel which was taking place within me.(3)

Totally involved as I was at the time with Freud, and familiar with his methods of examination which I had had some occasion to practise on the sick during the war, I resolved to obtain from myself what one seeks to obtain from a patient - a spoken monologue uttered as rapidly as possible, over which the critical faculty of the subject has no control, unencumbered by any reticence, which is spoken thought as far as such a thing is possible. It seemed to me, and still does - the manner in which the sentence about the man cut in two came to me proves it - that the speed of thought is no greater than that of words, and that it does not necessarily defy language or the moving pen. It was with this in mind that Philippe Soupault (with whom I had shared these first conclusions) and I undertook to cover some paper with writing, with a laudable contempt for what might result in terms of literature. The ease of realization did the rest. At the end of the first day we were able to read to each other around fifty pages obtained by this method, and began to compare our results. Altogether, those of Soupault and my own presented a remarkable similarity, even including the same faults in construction: in both cases there was the illusion of an extra- ordinary verve, a great deal of emotion, a considerable assortment of images of a quality such as we would never have been capable of achieving in ordinary writing, a very vivid graphic quality, and here and there an acutely comic passage. The only difference between our texts seemed to me essentially due to our respective natures (Soupault's is less static than mine) and, if I may hazard a slight criticism, due to the fact that he had made the mistake of distributing a few words in the way of titles at the head of certain pages — no doubt in the spirit of mystification. On the other hand, I must give him credit for maintaining his steadfast opposition to the slightest alteration in the course of any passage which seemed to me rather badly put. He was completely right on this point, of course.(4) In fact it is very difficult to appreciate the full value of the various elements when confronted by them. It can even be said to be impossible to appreciate them at the first reading. These elements are outwardly as strange to you who have written them as to anyone else, and you are naturally distrustful of them. Poetically speaking, they are especially endowed with a very high degree of immediate absurdity. The peculiarity of this absurdity, on closer examination, comes from their capitulation to everything — both inad- missible and legitimate - In the world, to produce a revelation of a certain number of premises and facts generally no less objective than any others.

In homage to Guillaume Apollinaire - who died recently, and who appears to have consistently obeyed a similar impulse to ours without ever really sacrificing mediocre literary means - Soupault and I used the name SURREALISM to designate the new mode of pure expression which we had at our disposal and with which we were anxious to benefit our friends. Today I do not believe anything more need be said about this word. The meaning which we have given it has generally prevailed over Apollinaire's meaning. With even more justification we could have used SUPERNATURALISM, employed by Gerard de Nerval in the dedication of Filles de Feu.(5) In fact, Nerval appears to have possessed to an admirable extent the spirit to which we refer. Apollinaire, on the other hand, possessed only the letter of surrealism (which was still imper- fect) and showed himself powerless to give it the theoretical insight that engages us. Here are two passages by Nerval which appear most significant in this regard:

'I will explain to you, my dear Dumas, the phenomenon of which you spoke above. As you know, there are certain story-tellers who cannot invent without identifying themselves with the characters from their imagination. You know with what conviction our old friend Nodier told how he had had the misfortune to be guillotined at the time of the Revolution; one became so convinced that one wondered how he had managed to stick his head back on.'

'... And since you have had the imprudence to cite one of the sonnets composed in this state of SUPERNATURALIST reverie, as the Germans v/ould say, you must hear all of them. You will find them at the end of the volume. They are hardly more obscure than Hegel's metaphysics or Swedenborg's MEMORABLES, and would lose their charm in explication, if such a thing were possible, so concede me at least the merit of their expression . . .'(6)

It would be dishonest to dispute our right to employ the word SURREALISM in the very particular sense in which we intend it, for it is clear that before we came along this word amounted to nothing. Thus I shall define it once and for all:

SURREALISM, noun, masc., Pure psychic automatism by which it is intended to express, either verbally or in writing, the true function of thought. Thought dictated in the absence of all control exerted by reason, and outside all aesthetic or moral preoccupations.

ENCYCL. Philos. Surrealism is based on the belief in the superior reality of certain forms of association heretofore neglected, in the omnipotence of the dream, and in the disinterested play of thought. It leads to the permanent destruction of all other psychic mechanisms and to its substitution for them in the solution of the principal problems of life.

Patrick Waldberg, Surrealism (New York: McGraw-Hill, 1971), pp. 66-75.

Favorite Words Wednesday

temporality

unravels

reflexivity

gesture

UPCYCLED

Manifesto Monday

Self care sunday

OOF

reflection this week has been heavy . SO HEAVY and i feel like i've barely brushed on it. I'm hoping more time next week but the schedule is filling up.

food shopping used to be such a drag for me. with mariposa co-op it makes everything so much better. i mean it's a tiny place and i'm interested to see how it will change once they move to the new space. but still to get home after shopping and have all this wonderful local, organic foods for the week feels really good. i still have to make all the stuff but i am prepared to go and do it.

exercise helped a lot too. i did some video on netflix for 30 minutes and all my depressive emotional negative thoughts dissipated. i have to remember this. for srsly. everyday. the recharge button is the exercise. i didn't finish everything i wanted to do today. and espcially the check in that i mentioned a few blog entries ago but i did get to hang out with an old friend who i hadn't seen in like 6 yeears. so crazy. and had two amazing craft brew ipas. mm mmm. back on one and done starting tomorrow. two is not that bad though and i was home by midnight ish last night considering we were at a birthday "party monster" tribute. it was super fun and i met a lot of nice people / esp artists too. so great. so i'm not against going out. it's hard to leave early but in the end it was for the best. i was super productive today even though i didn't finish everything.

i realized i reflected on plastic fantastic at art in the open as per kellyann's direction and my own really - reflection is an important part of the art process - but i haven't shared it and i think that it might be helpful to do. to see where this plastic fantastic is going. even if it's not with water bottles forever i think the title of the project expresses my world out look and that means everything. so many ideas this week post miami my brain is going to explode. hello new year. hello focus. can't wait to see what happens.

two ipas and i'm a bloggin maniac. yay craft beer.

A Fire In My Belly

A Fire in My Belly from ppow_gallery on Vimeo.

Reflection on Miami's art fair & Building Backbones

rank / fair reflection

i walked around art basel in my self-titled tee. i didn't realize the performance aspect of it until i was actually walking towards the fair and thinking of myself dressed as an ad for myself. once in the fair i realized the reach of how far this was an actual fucking performance. so i decided to stroll the fair and not really look at anything in particular. that didn't work needless to say because i was seduced by quite a few art works and took pics on my phone since i couldn't bring in my real camera cuz it had hd on it. anyways... i was beginning to feel drained and low and the flats i was wearing were not so comfy and it was so overwhelming just like i anticipated and wished. i was surprised by how contemporary the art was and how much of it i did like.

at a low point i stood in front of marina abramovic hovering over the kitchen. admiring her hover and weightlessness. wishing i had some of that. and a little girl asks her mom what's the lady doing in the kitchen. and the mom quips, she's being a slave to the kitchen. my lull was broken with some lolz.

the other most memorable moment of walking the fair as myself as myself was in front of the sophe calle piece. there was some text. and below was her image on a billboard. we were a match made in heaven. my color combination of black print on a white t-shirt with a red skirt also made me very happy in front of barbara kruger's works, especially the chess set. shit damn i loved that. i still have dreams of creating a chess set show with local artist groups and this confirmed the chess idea is still alive.

I would like to thank Kelly Fernandez, Andrew Brzozowski, Kellyann Davis, Jo Podlesak, Tara Fritz and Katelyn Ingersoll for prebuying t-shirts to help fund the printing of the edition.



Reflection on Building Backbones

At the time of the #rank miami call for proposals, I had recently commented on Denise Karabinus' status update on fb questioning what she should do with all these rejection letters. I told her to get a binder to collect them. Also around the same time a former MFA professor of mine had responded to my news that I didn't get a residency that he too had also recently received a slew of rejection letters. Personally I am trying to apply for more shows, grants, and residencies and need to build the resilience to and willingness to accept failure.

Encouraged by damali abrams and Jenn Rockwell, I submitted the idea of Building Backbones to #rank's call and it was accepted with an email titled "yer in". The intention of Building Backbones was to alleviate the private experience of receiving the news of rejection for a show, grant or residency to which an artist had applied, and turn it into a new experience, public experience, where serious play is engaged through shared experience and humor. The recipients of the rejection letters would read them aloud at Building Backbones. With Jen Dalton's encouragement, I put a call out via facebook, Chicago Artists Resource, craigslist and blog postings, #rank miami emails, flyering, and personal calls to artist friends to collect as many rejection letters as possible. Collaboration and participation in decision making with my group projects is an important component to the work.

Through conversations around the call for letters, I discovered interesting insights into rejection. Some, like Jacob Galle, Christopher Lawrence and Jennifer Dalton, save every rejection letter they'd ever received. I learned that rejection letters are a war chest, not to be dreaded, but expected and collected. In my own experience in 2010 while I had received four rejections, I'd also received three acceptances and one invite. Also in some cases it was very awkward to ask for rejection letters when the sting is still so fresh. My favorite response was from Duncan Mackenzie, who said he couldn't participate because "in an uncharacteristic fit of rage, [he] ripped it up."

At Building Backbones, led by myself and damali abrams, the punters in attendance read in unison 16 rejection letters submitted by 13 artists, five of whom were present to read with the group. The unison of voices and listening to your neighbor to stay on track was true to the nature of play and community building. It was a perfect Baudrillard moment; a manifest moment of acceptance, community, and bonding while hearing and speaking the latent content of rejection - not one letter directly said you are rejected. While it seemed a critique of the institutions who wrote the letters, the intention was to share the experience and take that nasty sting away. In some cases the application figures were astounding, 2000 applicants and a mere 35 admitted. It is a numbers game, timing, the work, about you and not at all, chance, and content. I loved hearing the voices in unison and the sound of the words in the context of the renegade warehouse of seven commercial galleries where established artists were selling works -- the process of the artist resonated the soundscape. On a micro level the session sat in wonderful juxtaposition to the following panel on applying for a residnecy or grant program with representatives from Smack Mellon and Creative Capital and in an international juxtaposition to the highly successful artists in Art Basel and the satellite art fairs. What an art world it is!

The next sessions presenters' seemed offended by our reading from Building Backbones at first. Later it was acknowledged that they too often get rejected by donors. I hope with that they understood the need for the cathartic act of Building Backbones.

Participating in #rank miami and "performing" at the Art Basel, while challenging, frustrating, a bit drunkenly, a bit depressing, and maybe even fun, left me ready to continue my active pursuit and participation in the art world. I participated in as much rank activity as I could (regrettably I never scored a #rank t-shirt by Laura Isaac and arrived too late for William Powhida's reading of Maritza Ruiz Kim's interview), getting some nice new free art by Caroline Doherty from Sean Naftel's Free Art Stand, some ego analysis and therapy by Dr. Lisa Levy, indulging in the comforts of Mandie's, and the escape from myself with Pumkin Folgers (Jason Mombert) & Corduroy Jackson's ID Corporation where I received a new name which was a much welcomed relief after being so much of myself I didn't want any part of me. And how could I forget Garric Simonsen's Fortune500 fortune cookie put me back on twitter with my new improved backbone. My own realization is that while I might never be a showing artist in the museum crowd of artists, I will continue to make art and participate in the art world where the synergy is best between their interests and mine. I am better informed about the fair for having shown up, made some great new friends, continued my experimentation with collaboration, community building, and play, and have new ideas on how possibly making a living is possible with my art. I think the most transformative moment was Christopher K. Ho asking why not accept art as a commodity. And to me, if broccoli is a commodity then so too will be the ephemera of my art practice.

Thank you, Jen Dalton and William Powhida for accepting my proposal and allowing this performance for #rank. Thank you to all the artists who submitted rejection letters: Denise Karabinus, Sarah Smizz, damali abrams, Jeffrey Augustine Songco, A. Jacob Galle, Jodi Lynkeechow, Kat Schneck, Kelsey Halliday Johnson, Jennifer Dalton, William Powhida, Brian Feldman, and Evangeline Cachinero.

Goodbye Tuesday

Since I said goodbye last week to procrastination, I have to keep this short because I am behind on stuff post Miami. (did i tell you I went to Miami?.......!!....!.... )

This week I say GOODBYE ANXIETY.

Goodbye Anxiety. I'm sure the more I say it the more real it will become. Goodbye anxiety. It was nice knowing you. Goodbye anxiety. Hello Relaxation. Oh that's sooo nice. and by so I mean SOOOoooOOOooOOoOoOo nice.

I like OoOoOos.

K?

Remember, Goodbye anxiety. I wish I had a picture for you. From Miami. From #rank.





(photos by Jason Mombert)

Goodbye Tuesday

Goodbye procrastination.

Hello PLAy.

Goodbye worrying.

Goodbye getting pissed off at stupid shit.


and here's the corresponding advice I picked up through some lovely bar conversations over the past few months that accompany my second and third goodbye:

* Is it going to benefit me to be annoyed by this? (random punter at fiume)

* Boys are not worth being sad over. (Christina)

* No matter what, it's funny. (Jeanine)

* No major decisions til tomorrow, ie sobriety. (Jeanine)

and today over dinner with the roommate..
which i have since googled because i think i was messing it up and it turns out to be a quote...

* Resentment is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies.” ~ St. Augustine

Now do yours. Say Goodbye and write it down. It feels good. I've got some real writing to do now. GOODBYE INTERNETS!

Self-Care Sunday

bike ride around the loop with rachel

made organic tofu & spinach salad so goood

writing time

listening to football game

play with kittens


and now to do the big "The Sunday Meeting"

I printed this out from the inside higher ed website and plan to do that now. I realized and it's taken me 11 months to really understand what has happened, that I set goals but never made the schedule that carved out the time to make the goals on their way to reality and let things happen and made some things happen and some were intuitive based on the plan. i want to be more purposeful and focused based on what I dreamt about last December. So 2011 let the reflection and planning begin again.

Right after this next unplanned, spontaneous art project at #rank miami is finished that is. One might say it will be an adventure in Play.

uh oh.. are self-care and business of art binary opposites?

Liam Gillick

If Liam Gillick is interviewed by his collector, is that art if his art has a component of relational aesthetics?

What I really want to remember or wish I heard correctly, is that he said his art isn't to mirror society or be a critique of it but to... and what the hell he said i can't gezz remember and didn't quite hear. Not a mirror, not a reflection, but... i mean something new? what? what could it have been? it's very frustrating to not know and have no way of knowing unless Moore actually posts the video. ..

Interestingly, they did post the Curating and... series of panel discussions... http://www.thegalleriesatmoore.org/site/programs/curatorial_conversations

OK as of Nov 18 the Galleries at Moore are working on uploading the conversation. This is kind of exciting because I met find the answer. yay.

good night.

wait i have to finish my thought. if it's about relationships and not the audience relationship or his relationship to the audience or itself but about art world relationships then this interview was indeed an art piece. and that i find fascinating.

ok bye.

wait ps. then at one point i talked to him after the symposium conversation thing with his collector who has over 1200 pieces of art in his collection (mind boggles) and he gradually led me to a tall table near the bar after getting a glass of wine after i followed him from greeting and meeting introductions post talk. the most powerful moment was after he made me look up at the ceiling of the atrium which i've seen a zillion times from working there in the past and then gazed and we talked but it was the moment of the gaze that was the magic. i've seen it with other artists i know / had that moment.

draw your own conclusions . 339am blogging. why didn't i say hi to the collector too from the knights foundation? and how do you have 1200 pieces of art work. 1200. 1200. did i say 1200????

Manifesto Monday

Thank good ness for manifesto monday. Attribute of a manifesto.

Mrs Dalloway Was About Parties

AND STILL IS BITCHES

jokes

ok but this past Saturday was party central and i realized i haven't written about parties in awhile. like a long while. like so long i can't remember while. and today my sister commented on a wedding party blog from two years ago. i am behind the times here. i had tried to reread Mrs Dalloway too around the end of 08 and that is still in progress. It's so much sadder than I remembered. And denser. But that's what makes it wonderful too. I digress. Of course. Because Stream of Consciousness and Virginia Woolf style are my heros.

My party agenda on Saturday looked like this

1. Wedding at the Farmhouse in Delaware

2. Kathy's 30th Birthday - 90's themed, titled "My So Called Party"

3. Derek Plaslaiko at Inciting!!!! i mean at Inciting HQ. minus the exclamation points

Because of the wedding I was really late to the 30th birthday. if we were to compare the wedding to inciting, then they are vastly different events. inciting has a simple structure, a looping video, an amazing dj behind the decks and dark lighting. some rooms off to the side that are used for bands studios. One is usually opened as a chill out space. One is usually VIP available to friends of Inciting. Derek Plaslaiko, the dj this evening, and long time friend of the space, played for 13 hours. Oh and SOUND, the sound system is probably the best in Philadelphia, the kids in New York rent it so it must be. The sound is amazing. This is the structure of the party at inciting. The only formal event that took place was spontaneous and that was at noon when Derek paused the music and said let's give a round a hugs to Nic the sound guy and we all piled around him. Love.

On the other hand the wedding is a series of formal planned events. Not only is there the setting, an environmental structure we could say, but there are planned, controlled events. Like the ceremony itself. In this case it took place outside even on this fairly cool autumn day. I will say pre ceremony the bride was very early and went to a bridal suite and I shot some stuff up there and got a really nice candid story of how her and her groom got together after 10 years of knowing each other. I felt fortunate to catch that on video.

Did I mention there was a lot of dancing at Inciting? And a lot of hanging out and talking with friends too? It was very fun.

I missed the birthday formalities, ie singing happy birthday, but there was nice catering of Reality Bites, like bacon and peanut butter on mini toast. And cupcakes. And whiskey bottles with the tops cut off and turned into candle holders. And a lot of people dressed with wool hats, flannels, ironic band t-shirts, and floral skirts with doc martins and at least one wig.

I stayed much longer than I thought I would at My So Called Party, arriving at inciting close to 3am.

So the wedding as usual made me cry. Inciting did not. Though I did almost bug out to the land of hell in my brain. Just as I was falling into it half knowingly I was startled by the ever perceptive Tom++. He saved me from an eternity of mind fuckness and I danced a bit more.

Crying at weddings of people I don't know seems to be a theme. it happens every weekend almost. The bride cried too. Well that's probably what helped get me teary eyed. She called them Happy Tears. Just so you know these are happy tears. It was after her best friend said some amazing quote about love - I think this is an excellent idea if you are giving a toast. Something meaningful and inspiring. And the bride's dad had a lot to say. It was so overly expressive of emotion. Like all this repressed sharing of how I feel about you suddenly burst out onto the public forum of your party.

We all kiss and hug hello at weddings, birthdays and inciting. What about in your everyday too.

(edit: i realize i was getting into the ideas of structure and controlling an event but interrupted myself. TBC!)

12 hour parties, Social Networking and Art

Deep Rest

rejection sucks

it can break your heart

and you have to bounce back otherwise what else is there

i have many collections of rejection

my art rejections are in the beginning stages. i want many more. a war chest more.

because with them a few wins come through and the art making has a venue for airing. and that's probably something. this year there were a few rejections, burning man grant, pdf grant, yaddo residency, vox application.

there were also unexpected wins, vox vi; art in the open; invites like to philadelphia underground, guest critter at temple, advisor for a thesis project; one hour photo show and s.u.a.i.l.a.y.a.

it's the other categories of rejections that i am struggling with right now. good thing i have perspective and am not completely lost in the hopelessness of the moment. thanks blog writing. it still hurts but it will pass.

what's that cliche phrase, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

Participate!

Preparation

Loading up on reading in preparation for Miami

ARTFORUM: Art and its Markets
April 2008

coming soon.. a response video made in Maine to Joselit, David. ”All Tomorrow’s Parties”, Artforum, February 2008, pp. 81-84. art parties forever.


and

The Interventionists: Users' Manual for the Creative Disruption of Everyday Life

juicy concepts

serious play
intervention, interruption, daily life
experimental university - knowledge production, social space, encounters
strategy vs tactic
emancipation as play
subject, foucault's biopower as the place between life and power
risk

my kittens

Call for Submissions! "Building Backbones"

Artists are invited to read rejection letters from a grant application, residency or exhibition submission at Building Backbones on Friday, December 3, from 3-4pm at Ed Winkleman’s space at Seven, as part of William Powhida and Jennifer Dalton’s #Rank Miami. To participate, send an image with the artist’s name and a copy of the rejection letter to rejectionrank@gmail.com. It is estimated the event can accommodate up to 40 letters and artists. If the artist is unable to attend in person another artist present will read his or her letter.

Rejection is a big player in the artist practice more than most professional fields. Even my most successful MFA teachers still have to deal with rejection. Success includes rejection. This event will help artists build backbones for rejection through shared experience.

Selfcare Sunday

I took a vacation in Maine per my resolution to have a one week vacation a year. Today I did a little yoga from a tape on netflx, walked in the woods, took some photos and videos, of goats too, of a hemlock tree, and a cedar tree, and learned about trees soft and hard wood, i made eggs (that were laid today from chickens on the farm) with salami and cheese and onions... my mouth is watering thinking about it... i helped move firewood and made a big pile of it by the house, planted garlic, and went to dinner at a friend's house, who built the house himself and the studio, it's still unfinished but being lived in. And i had Long Trail's Double Bag. shitdamn that beer is GOOD.




cedar (sweet website on trees)




spruce (not my photo, just interesting to see different way the pine needles form on the branch)


double bag
(not my photo either)



i also have the title of my first album "Cedars, hemlocks and f-stops"

f-stops are a fraction. so the higher the number, the smaller the fraction, and the less amount of light let in. which also somehow increases the depth of field.

PS my new dream is to start a mushroom farm. like shitake mushrooms.

PPS we also made print making plans for wednesday with deb arter. i can't wait to see her beehive carved pumpkin

PPPS i also did a t-shirt silk screen design finally and it came easily because of the business cards Kathy Mueller designed for me two years ago. website planning too. it's going to be hawt.

Say Goodbye

WHO CARES

omg

self-consciousness is so 1987, 1992, 2005 and apparently it had a come back in 2010

Today I happily say:

"Goodbye Self-consciousness."


New daily morning motto from Aiasha "Enjoy Life!"



BTW Who Cares by Creative Time is an excellent book.

Assignment # 70 Say Good Bye

Renaming Tuesday's to "Say Good Bye"

after Assignment # 70 on the learning to love you more website









Good Bye Ryan V.

Ryan V's sound cloud: http://soundcloud.com/ryan_vanderbeck_funkshun

Wackadoodle Wednesday

A video still from Costa Rica
"I'd rather do this, and fight for myself, rather than accept things the way they are, when it affects my well-being."

Suey Tueesdeee

Giving up on the face. book. i sure am. i tried 20 min a day. it didn't work. i tried lingering there and socializing until i hated it. and that didn't work. i tried going hiking and that didn't work. i tried working and that didn't work. i still go there. i use it. i am distracted by it. i am looking for it to give me answers and attention and adoration. my eyes feel connected to it. we linger. at each other. i at it and it at me. it talks to me and tells me what my friends are doing. it not they. i say it is deleted. tomorrow. i promise. along with this blog. i am starting from scratch. professional refined edited neat selected focused. elimination. secretization. no more sharing. life connections. isolated. alone. i didn't need you anyway. or anyone. it's all about individuality and being number one. competition. rise to the top. be self-fish. be private. be quiet.

i will type less and it will be great.

Manifesto Monday

the manifesto published in Blast from wikipedia...
"The Manifesto
The manifesto is primarily a long list of things to be 'Blessed' or 'Blasted'. It starts:
Beyond Action and Reaction we would establish ourselves.
We start from opposite statements of a chosen world. Set up violent structure of adolescent clearness between two extremes.
We discharge ourselves on both sides.
We fight first on one side, then on the other, but always for the SAME cause, which is neither side or both sides and ours.
Mercenaries were always the best troops.
We are primitive Mercenaries in the Modern World.
Our Cause is NO-MAN'S.
We set Humour at Humour's throat. Stir up Civil War among peaceful apes.
We only want Humour if it has fought like Tragedy.
We only want Tragedy if it can clench its side-muscles like hands on its belly, and bring to the surface a laugh like a bomb."

Art Lesson with Yoko Ono

(i am big time procrastinating, following up post ica opening chats or is that professional networking with art colleagues)




Thursday, January 24, 2008

per the blog "the path"


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: YOKO ONO
Date: Jan 23, 2008 10:49 AM




Deidra, I will not be able to help you on this. When I was struggling to make a
living, I did everything I can - from being a waitress to being a translator. I always
felt that creative work I did was something sacred and I did not want to
commercialize it. Maybe it is hard to have such an attitude these days. So I don't
know. Just do what you can do to survive but never compromise with your
artwork. Lots of love, yoko


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: diedra
Date: Jan 8, 2008 1:03 AM


hello yoko ono

i have admired your work for quite sometime now since being in graduate school
for my mfa. in fact last semester i wrote a paper comparing your work with alison
knowles. "wall piece for orchestra: hit a wall with your head" inspired part of an
amazing dance video that i made that semester too.


i posted a new blog "the path"

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&frien
dID=18230314&blogID=343650734&indicate=1

that was part of an email correspondence between a fellow mfa student and me.
we are in the constant struggle of making a living, going to school and being an
artist. given your experience of the art world, any advice you could offer would
be wonderful! and even better if it was part of the blog.


thank you for your consideration,

diedra
10:34 AM 0 Comments(Add Comment) |0 KudosTranslate Edit Remove



currently reading: "The Message Is the Medium: The Communication Art of Yoko Ono", Into Performance: Japanese women Artists in New York, by Midori Yoshimoto

Roxana Pérez-Méndez @ PAFA

I headed out to PAFA to see the Warhol photos on my lunch break. This might have been enough time but I wasn't expecting to pay $15.00 to see the exhibit. On the way I went to the wrong building first and unexpectedly stumbled on a solo show of work by Roxana Pérez-Méndez. If you live in Philly, please go see this show. You have until Sept 26.

I've been following Roxana's work since learning about it through meeting her at Vox. I've never seen so much of it and incorporated into a site specific space in one place. It was brilliant. The idea of otherness resonated. I just want to gush about her work and am conflicted about being professional talking about her but that's what the other vscatblog.blogspot.com is for, ok. Seriously I thought I saw her tonight at the ICA opening and almost got teary eyed. I'm so emotional lately! But her artwork was so moving. I guess you could say I had a transformative experience.

The entry way into the show has a quote about otherness which set the tone of the video installations. Images of the artist superimposed using a reflection technique onto different scenarios. Actually i just listened to the Kehinde Wiley interview on Bad at Sports and this interface of foreground and background embracing and engaging contradictions was part of his work too and it was evident here. (Kehinde's interview was so articulate and purposeful, listen to this too if you can, he explains much better than I ever could. He had flow in his vocabulary and language about his art).

ok i can't finish this now as i have to prepare for traffic court tomorrow and pay some bills and just got in from the ICA opening which I'm really glad I went to earlier this evening.

Sui-cide Tuesday?

what are you giving up today for sui-cide tuesdays?

maybe this isn't the best blog title. yet imma continue with it. i like the u sounds

listening to The Plastic People of the Universe's Passion Play. it's categorized under avant-garde. and that it is. oh my.

i was very productive on saturday settling into my new room in the apt but then i partied all day on sunday. i think that's allowed. and it was pretty damn great. and then family time and shopping on monday and saw a very old high school friend and met her family later that night. she has three kids each 7 years apart. suburban life is so different but our friendship is still awesome. all was great except now i feel so behind on everything. and all i wanted to do after work was happy hour

instead i employed discipline through teary eyes and went for that damn run and didn't have that drink. made corn on the cob for dinner. and attacked the ongoing room project to make it a workable space for editing video. to return to some kind of art practice. i shot some video, repeating the words "this is the happy place, this is the happy place, this is the happy place"

another poem from the dead vault, it's from grade 9, published in Aspirations, a literary journal for Mercer County Highschool Students, life hasn't changed that much...

"Through Time"

A fool is to love, when this same love is pushed away.
A friend is to care on that same gloomy day.
Wish life could change what was destroyed.
Then more memories would be enjoyed.
But until this day is an event,
thoughts will be of the past, not the present.

1987

if you could see the guy now who that was a homeage to..eeew... . hahah

ah letting go BYE!

Manifesto Monday

so many thoughts so little time

i can't tell if the blog and the fb and the youtube are the performance or the documentation of the performance. talk about art or be the art if you know what i mean. and does it have to be consistent? is it for self-promotion or a place to explore the ideas? is it real or an act? i like focused things. i am unfocused. i can be very focused. i am procrastinating to ask questions.... maybe you could respond and let me know like a readers survey. that would be cool... currently listening to tracks by monolake

as someone i was sorta seeing recently called all these type of issues technology and the like... "first world problems". how blogtastic was that. never talk about dating... ever.

here's a poem and then i really am going to finish cleaning my room.

"A Desert Cry"
1993

She slowly slides
through her mind's undulating emotions
with a child's curiosity.
Her tiny voice, a wanderer drifting into the unknown.
she is the desert

Each granule of sand singed by the blazing Sun,
Creator of the raging heat,
the cause of her anguish.
Concerns consumed by the pressure.
her cactus nerves submit to it.

she deteriorates like the carcass of a starved rabbit,
not desired by the snake.

She desperately yearns for the water of knowledge
to satisfy her dry palate.
To supply her with nutrients
Imagining with every curing drop,
A unique revelation.

But her body continues to ache, hot to touch,
She burns inside. Gradually the sun disappears
and the stress fades for a moment.
She sleeps inside frozen desolation.

Party History

i removed this because i think i might have betrayed my 12 year old self who wrote the diary entry.

i still keep a "diary" but i don't write dear diary or say bye bye so much these days.

often i do think the unedited raw text from the diary entry expresses a thought well and would make nice blogs

instead i'm going to publish a few poems from a creative writing class i took in college. more finished works.

Immersive environments

that i love

record stores

- this week i bought a reed for my clarinet (and i even practiced yesterday...) and a used pj harvey cd from 2004

book stores

- i got a mushroom cook book ... can't wait to try some recipes and especially cream of mushroom soup. yum!

and single item specialty shops, like ones that only sell tea.. philly doesn't have one but i heard about one in utah today and remember the one in melbourne i used to like a lot a lot lot

i might even call that trip to the jersey shore immersive. surrounded by open sky, ocean and sand and the hundreds of beach goers with the umbrellas and incredible light. good job on the light sunshine! so great.

Stay Positive

i'm going to watch this video everyday for a month. plus it's an awesome vid.



thanks jr.

Let's talk

ok not really... word of the day IMMERSIVE ...

here's some things i'm looking into more often or want to look at more often yeah

fha

final cut pro

advertising / ad age / media buying

jim cramer and the street

chronicle of higher ed

subway videos !

career advising websites

design blogs like design-seed and design sponge

taxes

health insurance

sounds like a lot of procrastination

i killed my studio and seeing if i can work from home to save money. i think that's why i was so dramatic on aug 15. that was the day of the studio move. studio move. studio move. it's sitting in my basement.

and i just learned of this reading which i think might be relevant to my MoVid project.. from the nea.gov/research website ...

#50.


Audience 2.0: How Technology Influences Arts Participation
This report describes the demographic characteristics of U.S. adults that participated in the arts (such as concerts, plays, and dance performances) via electronic media (e.g., TV, radio, computers and portable media devices) in 2008, based on the Survey of Public Participation in the Arts (SPPA). Separately, the report examines broad categories of arts participation via Internet. The report also investigates factors contributing to the likelihood of some Americans experiencing art through media. Finally, the report considers the relationship between media-based arts activities and other types of arts participation, such as live attendance and personal arts creation. June 2010. 146 pp.
Multi-media version | PDF

which i found out about from this podcast... from this website: http://technologyinthearts.org/

will apps replace websites?

FIRE in the HEART

ready for action
acting out
raising the heat
handsprings
dancing
yellowing
biting nails
barking drunkenly at passerbyers
1991

Stay focused

listening to this mix i found on myspace. yeah remember that place. i think it's a good mix. so good. helping get the works at work done...


Nachin a.k.a searcher
Nachin a.k.a searcher 3 days ago
http://soundcloud.com/nachin-aka-searcher/nachin-losfuegos2008-14-08-2008/download


and i think Zilvinas Kempinas might be my new favorite artist of the week. Zilvinas was in a publication that somehow landed in my inbox. i think through the college art association. the work is creating immersive environments using video tape. and embracing contradictions, life contradictions, through materials. my heart says YES.

maybe water bottles are not finished. going to start making mini micro finished immersive environment sculptures for your mantlepiece.

Manifesto Monday

remember them? Manifesto Mondays?


Let's create a manifesto of "I cans"

I can find a job I love
I can make art without an official studio
I can be radical
I can be happy with my current job

I can

I can

I can

I can love you for reading this blog

Setting the tone for positive thinking. All Day Long. yee haw. I can blow this world up and make it what I want it to be!

I can do that chore

I can do that other chore too

I can figure out why final cut pro audio is choppy

I can get a new hair cut

I can have fun

I can do work

I can love you

I can relax

I can

I can


oh i better go bye!

don't forget YOU CAN TOO!

Self Care Sunday

Seriously?

Got up. 30 minutes of yoga including savasana. Savasana is the best pose. You lie there. and perhaps focus on your breath. And relax. you go to the quietest place ever when it's really good. I got there today. It was amazzing.

BUT WTF dear fail button go fuck yourself. and eat shit. it's time to shift focus, make that effort with ease and grace. oh so i'm really sorry. please make yourself available, welcome failure regularly and then be accepted and i'll move on to the next thing. with less tears. less tears. less less tears.

like heesung once said to me, remember to breathe.

Moblog!

holy crap a new term on the internet i just found to describe how i wish my new project could happen but will be done probably a bit different. well it will be done different but moblogging would have been cool. ok really moblogging isn't that exciting. it's just an abbreviation for posting a blog from your cell phone. movlog now that's cool. and that's what the project needs. still no dice.

however.

my new video participation your daily commute is great project....

description:

"Using cell phone video technology, subway and underground commuters are invited to submit 10 second videos documenting their daily commute. Anyone from around the world will be able to submit video as long as it is taken underground in a subway. The open call for videos will take place during the first two weeks of September after Labor Day 2010. Video submissions can be emailed to videosubway@gmail.com"

it's part of the group Philadelphia Underground for Design Philadelphia 2010.

correction: you can submit videos now until September 15. that's better. ok bye!

First Friday Listings Mirror

Dana: are you going to vox tonight?
11:31 AM
me: maybe? are you? going to show somethign???

Dana: i have a new video

me: maybe i'll bring baudrillard vid?

Dana: so i guess i'll bring that

me: oh

how long is it?

Dana: three minutes, haha
11:32 AM
no huge project, just a lil' guy

me: mine too, that's perfect for that kind of thing. anything over 7 is probably WAY too long

Dana: yeah.

do you think it's one of those deals where you have to show up early?
11:33 AM
me: not sure.... if you go i guess i'll go too. would be fun. i just had these ideas about being super productive wknd. meanwhile i'll go out fri, sat, sun haha
11:34 AM
Dana: I have like a million stops to make tonight. I'm putting a video in the first friday show at bookspace, and my friend has a painting show up

so I was thinking of going to vox around seven

me: where?

7pm ok i'll be there then
11:35 AM
Dana: i don't know what gallery, but i have the address 149 N 3rd Street

me: old city

i might try to get to little berlin too finally

Dana: oh yeah, I guess I'll go there too since they're our neighbors.
11:36 AM
and I was thinking of going to vwvoffka too

me: i think they are closed to go to vox event tonight

Dana: really?

they have a listing...

http://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=142438359118442&index=1
11:37 AM
me: oh shit and i know jesse, he's meeting me to get led batteries. i'll go there and then http://eexxttrraa.com/

will you be on bike?
11:38 AM
Dana: no, I'll be in my car since i have to deliver that tv and transport my associates

me: i see
11:39 AM
i'm hoping to bike, seems ambitious. but maybe we'll get lucky to show early at vox if we're on time. what a fun art evening. thanks!

Dana: Ambitious for sure!!

maybe i'll blog about it

haha
11:40 AM
me: do it

dana's looks like this: http://danarobophoto.blogspot.com/2010/08/first-friday-listings.html

Mom as Artist

Next time anyone asks if my mom is an artist, the answer is yes.

Self-care Sunday

and suicide tuesdays coming soon. maybe. thought it would be good to purge some aspects of self occasionally and that was a catchy title. maybe too extreme. better than fml tuesdays then you just whine. i just wonder what would happen if you let something about yourself go once a week. like deciding to stop being annoyed by people who chew with their mouth open or the drivers who veer towards you when you are cycling in the bike lane.

SOOooo Self Care Sunday

last night i made a plan for today. and i adhered to it. and was a little flexible. i've been trying to do the 30 minutes of exercise a day again. so far so good. but this morning's plan was yoga, breakfast, studio and then my other appointments for the day starting at 1pm. that was an ambitious plan for my first day off since monday. and it was a very art filled day i might add, meaning it wasn't a day off in weird way. more links posts etc soon hehe. it was fun. FUN. my first thing to let go will be the worrying. it just sucks the life out of you. anyway the point is i made a plan, it included self care time with yoga and studio reflection time and i think it made all the difference to the rest of the day. self-commitment....

and i only had a little whiskey last night in the rock garden party and got home at a reasonable hour and nice hang out time with friends. was so delicious. i still loves techno. rizumu does good. and the location outdoors in the dark with a little red lighting very well done. oh yeah.

Hamilton Post

Photo Shoot
in color

was fun.
FUN.
PLAY

Plausible possibility perhaps
Laughable language lovers
Action Audible Aural
Yellow Youthful Yesterday

tbc

Art Goals

I was just interviewed by the Hamilton Post about my art work. It's my hometown newspaper. AND when put on the spot about my goals for my art ultimately I said it was to just keep making work, to keep making immersive environments, getting people involved and making video performance pieces. And maybe have you walk back into your everyday thinking a little differently. Maybe you won't drink from that water bottle next time.

Art Market

Ed Winkleman on Bad at Sports

interesting points:

acknowledge your art is a product and it's your business

figure out who will buy it

pick a market to approach

visit the gallery(ies) at least 3 times before approaching them, there are probably 10 galleries who are a good match for you in chelsea of the 300 or so there...

make a compelling argument that contextualizes your work to that gallery - why there / challenge them to think

art can transcend everyday worries but he says it's not about escape - agree? i'm still thinking...

collectors are interested in immortality - they realized a long time ago that the only way to be immortalized is through art, like sponsoring a wing of a gallery. this kinda blew my mind for a moment

winkleman's work with one collector who has been collecting for 40 years (i wish he said who...) said the one reason artists make art or collectors collect is because you have to.



i have to.

the business side is ruling my production at the moment.

can't wait to get to the studio.

Manifesto Monday

self care sunday

the purpose of self care sunday segment is to consciously incorporate a meaningful feminist component to my artist practice, that being the will to self-care. this is inspired from reading about subRosa's projects. subRosa i might add also has a manifesto... awesome... the specific project to inspire this will to self-care was subRosa's project Love Is Strong As Death.

this sunday i spent time with my mom and dad. it was great.

whoa

like whoa totally crazy omg wtf fml holy amazingness

what day is it?

oh it's the end of wednesday. four days after the plasticness of fantastic is over and i have yet to reflect and started new projects instead and moving onwards. and doing that worrying thing about other life stuff. wtf. i need to relax. hello relax?

i have two books that arrived that i'm excited to read and waiting on the third. guess i'll follow up if i don't get it this week.

* racial paranoia by john l jackson jr
* our band could be your life by michael azerrad

and finally still waiting on
* Subculture: The Meaning of Style by Dick Hebdige

i really worry too much about the stupidest shit.

thank you world for being amazingly awesome sometimes. for real. xoxo

Amazing Art in the Open Volunteer Joshua helps take the dome down with us. I couldn't undo the nuts and bolts myself by this point of the project... weak sauce haha

in the future - fundred dollar bill project. see it at the fabric workshop & museum since i found out tonight the show has been extended AND help philadelphia get 93,000 more participants in the project. 7,000 so far have done it. if 40,000 phillies' fans can do the wave, i think 93,000 is possible.

relaxed.

Plastic Fantastic 2010 @ Art in the Open

has taken over my life... here's some info...



i had all these amazing plans to tell you about other art podcasts i've been listening to, like Bad at Sports and interviews on Slought Foundation's website... maybe sometime in the future.

xo

Manifesto Monday!