Mrs. Dalloway, WOOLF, #3

The change from talking about Spetimus & Lucrezia to Mr D & Lady Bruton was difficult for me to follow. For a page & a 1/2 (102-3) I had no idea who or what was happening. Now we're getting everyone's thoughts at once at L. Bruton's luncheon. All that build up of Mr. D's thoughts, the flowers, he was going to tell Clarissa he loved her & then by no surprise he doesn't but it was disappointing. "it is a 1000 pities never to say what one feels" says Mr. D "but he could not bring himself to say he loved her." Mr. D can feel unlike Septimus & he feels happiness. Mrs D gets depressed then happy bec. she knows why she was down & we learn she loves life every minute of it, each new event, each day, each party but Miss Killman then contradicts everything that Mrs. D was thinking. It seems she thinks D. is shallow a "Fool! Simpleton!" But its Kilman who is so unhappy, who has had this miserable life in poverty, her only value is her education. it seems neither one thinks the other has a clue about life, its meaning, I can't tell who is better or right or are both one has a thorough education of history & works, the other her art of throwing parties, enjoying life -- or are they both lacking & together form the complete woman? it says that Miss K is love & religion (according to Clarissa) is it possible that each character is an allegory - a personification of an abstraction? in class we said that we don't know the reasons for the characters actions & the same is true of allegories? So earlier it says Proportion = Sir Williams, Conversion - Reiza & L. Bradshaw, maybe love adventure = Peter Walsh & now religion = Miss K. Dr Holmes = Humor Nature. each is a feeling? maybe not. I'm confusing myself - it just seems that each person is somehow incomplete, not knowing or doing something & but all together form a unity. Miss K feels sorry for herself, the worst thing to be I think. - but she says "I don't pity myself." ! but everything she says/thinks sounds like she does. ok maybe it's not self-pity but weakness. the way Elizabeth enjoys being free, the beauty in nature, etc. I don't think Miss K could ever see those things in the same way as Elizabeth. I like the parts about Septimus & Reiza best, they make the most sense & are easiest to relate to for me.

It's scary how easily Septimus slips in & out of reality, to a second of happiness, to the loneliness & unedning search & philosophizing. He has the most wonderful images of Reiza like "all her petal were about her. She was a flowering tree" & she will win over Homes & Bradshaw & "he could feel her mind like a bird".. etc. How could he not be in love w/ her as was said earlier?! I don't understand. Is Sept dead? ! Oh no.